DINOBISCUITS NEWS

PREHISTORIC RECIPE SHOCKER

A recent addition to the long line of dinosaur shaped biscuits is announced here for the first time. The packet, now in possession of the author, arrived from an unknown source. Warning: this could be a fake and may not be a genuine prehistoric artefact. The product gives enthusiasts the opportunity to indulge in a little prehistoric cookery themselves, (and very enjoyable it is too). This packet differs from all others in featuring a Cretaceous dinosaur (pictured right). If genuine, the wrapping is final proof that dinosaurs did evolve the essential baking skills necessary to feed themselves, as outlined on the packets reverse (pictured below right). This gives palaeontologists vital clues as to dinosaur behaviour and ecology. Here, one Tyrannosaurus sniffs the fumes of freshly cooked biscuits. Dinosaurs are often slated for being dim-witted or stupid. However, note the neat apron and dashing oven gloves in the dinosaurs attire; this clearly contradicts the notion of foolish dinosaurs. Clicking on the image brings up the entire set of instructions, completely illustrated.

MUTTABURRASAURUS ATE TIMTAMS (but who ate Penguins)? New evidence indicates that the Australian dinosaur Muttaburrasaurus dined on TimTams (pictured), the Southern Hemisphere's equivalent of the Penguin. Immediately apparent is the similarity between the TimTam and the famous bourbon biscuit, the only difference being the chocolate coating on the Australian TimTam. British readers will also note the incredible similarity between TimTams and Penguins, both are essentially individually packaged chocolate covered bourbons. Indeed, a new family of biscuits has been proposed: the Chocreamidae.This data has serious implications for the theory of co-evolution between dinosaurs and biscuits. It is common knowledge that Iguanodon eats bourbons, and now we know the closely related Muttaburasurus ate the bourbon lookalike, TimTam. Surely it is more than a coincidence that similarities of this magnitude exist between dinosaur and biscuit families.

Another coincidence puzzling scientists is the parrot on the TimTam Packaging, is a link here to the penguins?. Conjecture implies that an Iguanodontid must have fed on Penguin biscuits and work is currently being carried out in North Africa, searching for conclusive evidence to prove a theory that Ouranosaurus, a sail-backed iguanodontid, found Penguins irresistible. Confident that their efforts will be worth it, one expert commented "biscuits are really tasty, these chocolate ones especially".

JURASSICOOKIES

An unbelivable relic from the past has recently been unearthed, a packet of 'Dinosaurus Biscuits' (pictured). These are biscuits in the shape of dinosaurs!They are clearly Jurassic in age say scientists, based on the nautre of the now removed surrounding matrix and the species engraved into the wrapping. They are encoded with what looks like childish scribble in a language from a by-gone age, possibly dinosaur language. The dabate is now on: which genius dinosaur ate these biscuits? Nobody knows for sure and the discovery raises more questions than it provides answers.

ISLE OF DELIGHT

FOSSIL BOURBON IS A BEAUTY

A fascinatining fossil specimen has recently been discovered on the Isle of Wight. The biscuit is the first fully articulated true bourbon to be found in the Wessex formation. It is believed to be an Asda own-brand, as it was found in a locality well known to the locals for providing specimens of the fossil Iguanodon asdafieldensis. See it here (Courtesy of S. M. Clabby, DinoWight 2001).

DINOMUSIC will it enter number 1 in the pop tarts?

Ever wish there was a song all about dinosaurs and their biscuits? Well there is! This song has lyrics which really make you think, they are full of feelings and biscuity goodness. It will make you happy if sung with a limp or while shopping or waiting at airports, bus stops etc. (Beware: once the tune is in your head, it is forever there). It goes something like this:

Ankylosaurus ate macaroons,
Dilophosaurus custard creams.

Apatosaurus ate digestives,
Triceratops jammie dodgers.

Chorus:
Dinosaurs and their biscuits. X2

Coelophysis ate Jaffa cakes,
Nodosaurus Rusks.

Tyrannosaurus ate fig rolls,
Baryonyx likes hobnobs.

Chorus X2

Iguanodon was a bourbon man,
Pachycephalosaurus likes mini gems

Diplodocus she loves rich teas,
Euoplocephalus choc chip cookies.

Chorus X2

Psittacosaurus ate ginger nuts,
Hypsilophodon likes nice biscuits.

Stegosaurus ate pink wafers,
Parasaurolophus chocolate fingers.

Chorus X2

Quetzalcoatlus ate cream teas,
Brachiosaurus coffee creams.

Velociraptor ate shortbread,
but ammonites liked gin instead.

Chorus X3

...not avaliable from any good record stores